top of page
  • Writer's pictureKassia Golden

I don't owe you my energy

What came up for you, reading this title? Could you see yourself being pulled by people, asked for your energies to be extended to the max? The tireless Lightworker, ever so eager to serve? Or did you find yourself on the other end of this sentence, triggered by it? Either way, I hope to shift something here for all of us. What energy do you, as a Lightholder, Wisdom-Bringer, Spiritual Guide and Teacher, owe to the Collective at large? Where do you need to have boundries, and when do you need to allow the flow every so freely? Is there a line at all? To whom to say yes to whom no? With any gift, any spiritual work, where does your obligation to share begin and end? Who gets to ask for "what you got"? Do you have a "right" to say no?" A few days ago I received a fb message from an acquaintance, loaded with interesting energies. Not the first of its kind, and the more I am clear in my boundaries, probably also not the last. People ask me for their friendship, to get together, to visit, to chat. What that often entails, for me, is that people want to pick my brain (or rather my flow), get a free session, receive energies, all under the guise of friendship. Not necessarily consciously so, but to me it's been shown clearly. I have most wonderful friends where there is a healthy balance of give and take, where I can sit and share, we listen to our challenges, joys, and experiences, and we equally gift insights, a shoulder to cry on, an open ear to listen to. Those are established friendships, long standing and precious. Inviting new friendships, or the possibility of it, into my life has become an act of significant discernment. My private and business life is intertwined. More so than with most professions. I can't just "get to know someone". The line of service and friendship is a thin one, something unique to my life. In regards to the spiritual business life, I want to present an important boundary setting, which of course also extends into many people's personal lives, just like in my case.


I used to be the boundless service woman. No opening times, no hours when I close. No clear definition of who my clientele is, who my service is meant for. "Hey", I thought, "I have a gift, and with it an obligation to spread it wide and far for all to receive". There is no manual that says that this is how we are supposed to show up, no entity, no energy, that asks us of that. It's quite the opposite. When you don't have a clear definition of your unique gift, you can also not clearly define your clientele. Now you spread yourself thin on this yummy bread of life, for all to hopefully receive a sliver of your offerings. How then can you show up fully, concentrated, undiluted, powerfully so with the people that are actually placed in front of you by this Universe/this God Essence? How then do you have energy, time, and clear flow left for those people? Can you see how ego based this actually is? See, the Universe is smart. It does not ask one person to carry the whole world, and in extension it would never give you a gift that is meant to be applied to the Collective at large. There is one specific flow, moving through you. You have been chosen, no one else, for you are the perfect vessel for it. You are one individual expression of the ONE, and there is truly no one like you, hence there is also no vessel such as yours. No painter has ever created an art piece that resonates with all people. The painter (the vessel) brings forth an art piece (the universal flow in one expression) which is meant for a specific group of people. You might do Reiki and so do 1000 others, you might be an artist, one of many, you might teach yoga and so does your best friend,you might be, like me, an Intuitive, with messages and guidance to bring forth. Yet no one will have a vessel like yours, a container where the Universe asks its flow to be poured forth through. Therefor the Universe, this beautiful Spirit Essence, the great Light, whatever you might call it, it picks you very carefully, knowing that only you could bring something important to the people the way only your vessel could. I might have lived with lots of fellow Intuitives in close vicinity - in Sedona they are truly a dime a dozen, but my clientele was unique to me, my vessel. No one could, and can, bring the messages forth the way I do. See, I don't take credit for the messages themselves, that's not me. Yet my vessel, and my wonderfully quirky, fun, and also deep and straight forward delivery only aligns with a certain type of people. I can't know who that is, the Universe choses that, which means...

I have to be very careful whom I extend this flow to. Which brings me back to my intro title. I do not owe my energy to you. I don't owe anything to anyone, just because I carry a spiritual gift. I do however owe my discernment to the Universe, and that is a whole different obligation. If someone asks me to be friends, I might have to say no, because I can see that it is not about friendship. I would spend hours sitting with someone that the Universe has never asked me to sit with. Out of sense of this "spiritual goodness", I have been there more than once. I have also then had no energy left in the next days for anyone who actually truly needed me.

The ones who have not been placed in front of us are often the ones who draw the living light out of us. Harsh words, but I know you all know what I am talking about. Personally, through checking in with my own guidance, through listening intently to what I am ACTUALLY asked to be doing, that energy leak has changed some years ago. My work has gotten more compact, as has my friendship life, yet in no way less restricted or confined. Personally and professionally it has gotten more profound and powerful, serving my friends and clients in the highest way I can show up. Undiluted, uncompromised. To get there, to say no, it takes courage.


How to know who is supposed to be your client, and who is the one you so eagerly rum towards, yet they have never been placed in front of you to begin with?

Stop. ask. listen.

When someone asks you for your service, how often have you actually allowed yourself to first check in and see if this person's need is in your alignment with your gifts? Take your time before saying yes to a client. Check in with yourself. How does this feel? Are your spider senses going up? Do you feel hesitant but obligated? Nauseous even? What is your body telling you? Your guides, your inner radar, your emotions? Do you know the truth but are overriding it, out of a sense of spiritual obligation? Your initial reaction is often correct. It is the Universe talking to you. We are, however so good in overwriting it very quickly, and then thinking we are showing up as this perfect spiritual person.

The overwriting is actually this thought that we have to be there for anyone and everyone in need. No you don't. You have been given one gift. It might show up manifold in more than one way, but it's still one mission, your personal. mission. Overall, in the bigger picture, there are many other people out there who actually carry the correct tool for this person's need. By stepping in so eagerly, you took away the connection of those two peole, and the possible growth, healing, learning that could have came through it. So...stop yourself there spiritual cowboy, ask, and then listen. One way, which works well for me, is to simply ask: Has this person been placed in front of me to work with, or have they placed themselves here? Be careful though, not all challenging energies are an indication of a no. Sometimes challenges are the pathway to growth. Self and client growth. That is a whole other animal of discernment and requires utter honesty with self and with/for your client. Is this challenging energy showing up to stretch me into growth, or into a clear no? Is it showing up for me to step into something more here? Either, again, boundaries and actually speaking those, or into a soul development? How to know? By being radically honest with yourself, and by asking the same of your clients. Kindly, gently, but unapologetically so.


When you speak your boundaries, don't be surprised of the sometimes, uncomfortable, reactions. They don't stem from you saying no to the person, they come from you saying no to extending that specify flow to that specific person. In my case, I got quite an interesting lashing out pointed towards me, when I kindly said that I don't have the capacity for new friendships right now. I did not say no to a possible friendship, to "getting to know each other", to connecting and sharing. I said no to extending the flow. People react to that, and it might be strongly, as in the case of this fb message. They might attack you, they might try to tell you that you are not in alignment with your purpose, an awful Teacher, Guide, Intuitive, a less than perfect Spiritual Person who needs to clearly work on themselves. Mostly, they will tell you that if you have a gift, you owe it to the Collective, freely so. I have received all of that and more in my work and personal life, but remember, they do not say anything about you, they have just proven to you a point about themselves. Just because someone hungers for your gift, does not mean that they are your client. Do not feed the ones who have never been placed at your banquet to begin with. You are not the the one and all, the answer to everything and everyone, so why show up like that? I love you all so very much. My new friends, my client friends, my ancient friends. You are all very precious to me. Thank you for showing up in your gifts. If one person or a hundred receive what you got, you are the most important vessel for the most important people, but only for the ones who have been handpicked for you. Respond to those with all your might. They need you! You are loved, you are seen. Kassia

As always, you can find me here to book a comprehensive, intuitive session with me.


57 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page