Projection is the semi-conscious desire to have the other work on one’s unconscious needs.
To make manifest what is in one’s blindspot. To have the other take over for what can’t be seen, but nevertheless what wants to be healed, shifted, and transformed.
In essence, projection is the deep soul saying: “I need this now!”, when the surface self isn’t quite ready yet.
Projection is asking another to carry what one does not have the courage yet to face. It isn’t easy to be on the receiving end of projection, for your Self, at that moment, is replaced by the other Self, made manifest in you, so the other can see themselves.
It takes quite a good amount of gentle, kind, compassionate energy to hold the other self in one self at that time, rather than responding with bringing oneself quickly back in. In this, if projection becomes attack, a clear boundary of me and you is healthy and called for. The projector won’t like that, for you just took something important away. The perceived idea that their unconscious need could be taken care off, by placing it onto you. It's ok. Be loving and compassionate, but firm.
Take some time out, leave both of you to be in self again, but also kindly leave the proverbial door open, since their soul has asked for something very important.
I am still practicing all of that, at times graceful, at times quite clumsy. In my ‘Human Design” I have two major things where people project onto me. That’s has been a whole lota lot of projection onto me in my life, by design. Not always easy, but it is my work after all, in sessions, with clients, to make the unseen seen, to speak the unspoken, to make manifest what is hovering around somewhat nebulous, and to make it tangible. That is how shift happens. “You are…!” Oh how often do I hear that. Standing a bit flabbergasted, because the statement made about me has just about nothing to do with me. Yet adamantly, sometimes even volatile, the “you are…” is being placed onto me. The soul asking for relief, projection onto me, to find what it needs. And, I react. I push back, I pluck the other’s self, that has just safely nestled itself into me, out of me, flinging it away.
I have asked for guidance in that for all of us. We all project, and we all are on the receiving end. The “no I am not…” feels too harsh, too unkind, since in essence the other did not come maliciously, but in need. Guidances says to change the “no, I am not…” into simply leaving that assumption in the space, rather than pushing it out. Giving it a soft, gentle, and safe place to land and to be made conscious.
Yet, with it asking back: “It seems that…(the assumption made about me) is a theme for you right now?” That can be asked straight forward, and also asked in many variations.
“You are so anxious!” Asking back: “How is your heart feeling today?” "You still have a lot of work to do on self esteem." Asking back: "What a theme, huh? How does that show up for your currently?"
You have now created an outer, little safe basket for the unconscious need to safely land in. Simple, powerful. The aha moment might not come right away, but trust that it will. In their time. The word “projection” isn’t quite correct btw. It is “transference”.
I want to add that the Narcissist will use projection and transference for power and nothing else. The above mentioned would not work. Just step away. Transference is the semi-conscious desire to have the other work on one’s unconscious needs.
Transference is the deep soul saying: “I need this now!”, when the surface self isn’t quite ready yet.
Transference is asking another to carry what one does not have the courage to face yet.
Let’s all be a bit more gentle with each other, projectors and projectees. The photo felt right for this blog post. In kindness and love. I hope you can feel it. Always and all - ways.
As always, you can find me here to book a comprehensive, intuitive session with me.